i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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