are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize