oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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