So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
