Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
