barbara walters just said penis...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
