I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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