You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
