just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
