We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
