Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
