In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
