Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
3pm strippers are depressing
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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