Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
