so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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