It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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