I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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