i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
