So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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