oh god the rape fog is back!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
