you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
