Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
ttyl tear gas
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
