chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
