I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
