i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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