Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
