i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
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