im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
