If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
