Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I want to be your penis for a week.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
