My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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