I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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