I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
