bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
