So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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