Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
