if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
