Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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