when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
