You're a womanizer and a bitch.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
