She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
