we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
