watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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