my text book just quoted the cookie monster
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Someone came in the potted fern
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
