So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
