Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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