sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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