My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
