You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
