Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
